b_e_w_obsessiveskeptic | So I'll seek you out Just to find myself And I'll worry 'bout consequences later

So I'll seek you out Just to find myself And I'll worry 'bout consequences later

(Continued from here)

[Kaiba saw the message and didn't bother replying. No doubt the housekeeper had buzzed Yugi into the grounds and would probably be expecting him at the front entrance. Never mind, he'd explain later. So he opened the doors to his balcony and looked over the edge. Sure enough, there he was.]

Try me short stack.

[Yugi probably wouldn't have been able to see the smirk that was plastered on his features, but it was there all the same.]

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「It's hard to miss the change.」

You still think he holds a grudge for what you did to him?

「Pretty sure he does, but, might as well hear him from him, meanwhile he puts those cute little boots next to the bed instead, then he fixes the pillow for him.」

[Kaiba rests his forearms on his thighs, an awkward expression that looks something like a not quite grimace.]

Why wouldn't he? I tore up a precious gift and then put him in intensive care.

But it's fine because I was in a coma for six months, suddenly everything's fine? That just looks like running away from the problem.

「After that Mind Crush, Yugi had assumed all these truths had been assimilated, they were never spoken but somehow he had thought they were under the rug already. Apparently that hadn't been the case, even after all this time. But hadn't it been the purpose of it all? For Kaiba to realize how badly he had been managing his own life, for him to put his life together again? There is a pang of mixed feelings bubbling in Yugi's chest; to find out that Kaiba was remorseful about it brought him a degree of joy, that he could feel sympathy for others despite of how rough he could be with people sometimes, but to bring him pain, it wasn't what he intended.

He keeps a rather unreadable stare on his so-called rival.」

He never blamed you, Kaiba. You didn't tear up but cardboard, that card is as important to him as it was from day one even after he patched it up. You also gave it a new meaning and he does not hold any ill thoughts towards you because of that.

「He brings a soothing hand over Kaiba's forehead, just to put a few rebellious strands of hair in place. A failed effort as his hair is quite a mess anyway.」

[The way Kaiba looked at him may as well have sent the message that Yugi had grown another head. Why the hell wouldn't he despise him? Why were they such pushovers?]

Don't you people get angry? What's wrong with you?

[Despite the absolute bafflement in his tone and the incredulous look he doesn't pull away from Yugi adjusting his hair. No doubt his bed hair tomorrow would be astounding.]

It was... sometime ago, Kaiba. He is, as you said, an old man. At his age, you can only get angry for so long before you realize it's not worth it.

「Maybe he will realize that too, soon enough.」

I was furious at you, if that helps any... I think that what you did was a dick move, and what I did to you was not out of the goodness of my heart either — if you hadn't put yourself together you...

「you would have died... But that goes without saying. He gives up fixing his hair and pushes his forehead, gently, so he lies down.」

I'm glad you did.

In my experience, people don't forget these things. It's ammunition to use later down the line. Something to protect yourself with as much as it is to harm.

[It just drove home further the reason he'd been prescribed the medication and now bi-weekly sessions with someone who somehow knew the way his brain worked better than he did.
Passively he lets Yugi push him back, just accepting this gesture.]

I thought I'd have woken up as furious with you as I had been when you defeated me. But... I was a bomb waiting to explode. Looking back, remembering how angry I was, the things I wanted to do. I was scared of myself. I was so driven to be in control that I wasn't. I hadn't had that kind of freedom of agency before and I was willing to destroy myself and everyone else. To stop myself from being in that place again.

[There's almost a blankness about him as he continues talking, not quite robotic but it's apparent that the medication is numbing him to a degree.]

...This doesn't leave this room. Not until I'm ready to do it myself.

「He's not wrong... Yugi is not about to forget ever what Kaiba did, none of them would, but, none of them would never use that to hurt him. At least, he doesn't think he could be able to in his right mind.

Kaiba lies down and Yugi just sits next to him, forcing him to scoot over some if he has to. The more Kaiba speaks, the more he realizes he cannot suddenly leave, besides, he doesn't want to, he got there to watch over him and so he would.」

Do you think you'll ever be ready...?

「It's not meant to discourage more than to satiate his own curiosity.」

[Kaiba shifted, rolling onto his side to accommodate Yugi. He mulls it over, squinting as he considers it. The real question was whether anyone else deserved to know. Ultimately he'd have to consider the benefits. What had his therapist said? He didn't have to tell them anything but he could still set his own boundaries.]

Depends on the person.

I've told you more than I thought I would. Anyone else I'd feel like there was something physically stopping me talking, but with you it's easy.

「Easy...

Kaiba might bee a little too out of it, but that manages to make Yugi's eyes go wide for a moment. What makes him so special? From messaging him and... No, there had been other countless occasions that they both had pussyfooted around for a while now and now this and...

He surely feels honored but, he's sure that if he tells him that again he'll probably end up on the floor.」

... Why?

[Why? Surely he realised the bond they shared, and not just the fate mumbo jumbo. Sparks flew when they were together, this Yugi had pulled him from a dark place, there were unspoken moments of deep communication that didn't need verbalising. But... If he was this clueless maybe it did.]

When I woke up, instead of anger I just wanted to see you again.

You challenge me in a way that allows me to grow and you don't patronise me in the process. You gave me long enough to breathe and adjust myself. You're accommodating when I'm on edge-- you ran across town and scaled my balcony for shits and giggles. You haven't been weird about our previous encounters even if one of them was embarrassing.

[Lazily he reaches for Yugi and shifts closer to nuzzle into his side.]

When I'm not stuck in my head, I'm at peace with you around.

「... No, it wasn't like he wasn't aware that they shared a bond, that every time they were together, something happened between them. It had been him who had always pushed it, regardless of Kaiba's constant protests and obvious discomfort. But to hear it like this... It has Yugi's cheeks getting a little warm and a tad rosy. It's obvious that Kaiba is talking much more than he intended to. It's strange, Yugi would have thought that it'd make him happy to hear his rival speaking like this, but the truth is that he can't help feeling this is a little unfair for him.

He nuzzles into his side and Yugi tenses, he can feel cold sweat down his back and his palms. He had forgotten how it was to have him so close to him in such way.

All right, fine, he had tried to forget how it was, he couldn't. It wasn't like this was a reminder but... It has him smiling to himself. Kaiba is the only one that could make him feel like this, so good and yet so uncomfortable, only he could make him have these feelings, so intricate and confusing.

At peace, he says, and yet, he could refute that, asking him why he always gives him such a hard time. Why he often if not always he denies that together, they are invincible. Is it the time to ask, however? Kaiba certainly is talking, but this is not him, not entirely.

It is not without a slight hesitance that the Nameless Pharaoh places a hand on that messy head, just rests it there.」

Kaiba... You should sleep.

「He leans over him, slightly.」

I will be here.

[Lazily he blinks, eyes closing for just long enough that sleep is far more tempting than Yugi. That felt like a first, but he found he didn't mind. The idea of waking up next to him was far more pleasant. Maybe he'd be able to make a better time of it than when they were on the blimp.

He gives in and lets his eyes close, allowing his mind to wander and paint a picture of what he'd hope the morning would entail. Yugi nuzzling into his shoulder, the covers keeping him nice and warm. Laughing about something, maybe a kiss or two. Not a single care outside of one another. Well, except maybe breakfast but he could get that brought up.]

You should let them know where you two are going to be for the night. They'll worry otherwise.

「That seemingly still hand that rest on Kaiba's head, suddenly seems to be intertwining fine locks of hair in between its fingers. It's so smooth and silky, so easy to tame, unlike his, and he's loving the sensation. He... really does. No, it's not just the hair, it's everything what Kaiba makes him feel.

You two... A little shiver runs down his spine. Even like this, he's able to tell. How come he's not weirded out about by their situation is, refreshing, different. It also is incredibly touching that he worries about him, his family. He can't help but wonder if he'll remember that in the morning. It is also a little funny that he implies that he was going to stay all night, not that he wouldn't have it any other day, but it is as he already made the choice for him.」

I will, don't worry.

「A text to his other self's mom later, Yugi finds himself taking off his own shoes, placing his jacket just anywhere else, and then... and then he notices he doesn't want to risk moving Kaiba so much. He still remembers how sleep deprived he looked back at the hot springs and to see him snoozing like this, curled next him, with the most peaceful expression, he'd hate to wake him.

He reaches for the conveniently placed light switch next to the bed, and the room goes dark, except for the dim lights coming from the balcony. Only then, once again, he leans on Kaiba; he smells his hair and presses his lips against his head before he starts moving away very slowly.」

[If it wasn't any other time then he'd have kicked out the biggest grumble at the constant shifting of his make-shift pillow. But the combination of Xanax and alcohol left him utterly unable to muster the sense of indignance it'd require. A kiss? Well, it was probably a substitution for an apology or something.

Kaiba gave a small hum, appreciative but also aware he needed to find the pillows, his back was already starting to ache at the awkward angle he was sprawled.
But now Yugi wasn't within arms reach. Didn't matter if he was trying to be practical and get out of his clothes, his need to latch at him was obviously greater, he could change the sheets and shower if he was really that gross from his late-night exercise.]

「More than trying to be practical, all he was trying to do is give Kaiba his space, but apparently, he doesn't want it, and it is a little strange to him that he doesn't. He's also making it awfully difficult for him to do it anyway, so, he stays... It wouldn't be the first nor the last time that he falls asleep on his uniform. He wriggles even more and finally settles on the matres, looking for a pillow for himself.」

How's that we always end up like this...?

「He mutters, honestly, not expecting an answer from the very high CEO.」

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So I'll seek you out Just to find myself And I'll worry 'bout consequences later

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